The #1 Kegel Mistake Most Women Make (And How to Fix It)
You've been told to do Kegels for your entire pregnancy journey. But what if you've been doing them wrong this whole time?
If you're pregnant or recently gave birth, you've probably heard about Kegel exercises approximately 847 times. Everyone agrees: Kegels are essential for pelvic floor health.
The problem? Most women of us are doing Kegels completely wrong.
Why This Matters
Leaks when you sneeze or feeling like your organs are heavy are all signs your pelvic floor needs smarter training—not just more Kegels. Pregnancy, birth, and daily life (think laughing, coughing, lifting a stroller) challenge these muscles constantly. Done correctly, pelvic floor training can:
Reduce leaks and urgency
Ease pelvic pressure
Support better sex and orgasms
Prepare you for labor and smooth recovery after
But when you do Kegels wrong, you waste time—and can even make symptoms worse.
The Big Mistake: Squeeze, Squeeze, Squeeze… No Release
Most people treat Kegels like a never-ending clench. They grip their glutes, abs, and inner thighs, hold their breath, and forget the most important half of the exercise: the release.
Your pelvic floor is a dynamic muscle group. It needs to contract and relax. If you only practice the “on” part, the muscles get tight, tired, and less responsive. That can actually increase leaks, pain, and constipation.
Think elevator, not vise grip. Lift the muscles up a floor on the exhale—and let the elevator ride all the way back down on the inhale.
Quick Self-Check: Are You Doing This?
Do you feel your butt cheeks or abs tightening first?
Do you hold your breath or brace like you’re about to lift something heavy?
Do you forget to let go at the end of the contraction?
Do your symptoms feel the same (or worse) despite “doing Kegels” for months?
If you said yes to any of these, you’re likely making the #1 mistake.
How to Fix Your Kegels in 3 Steps
1. Set your posture. Sit or lie down comfortably. Neutral spine—no tucking or arching. Unclench your jaw. Shoulders easy.
2. Breathe right. Inhale through your nose and let your belly soften. Exhale through your mouth like you’re blowing through a straw.
3. Lift, then fully release. As you exhale, gently lift the pelvic floor “up and in” (imagine stopping gas and lifting a blueberry with your vagina). On the inhale, let everything melt back down.
Start with 5–8 controlled contractions. Quality over quantity.
Common Cue Swaps (So You Feel It in the Right Place)
If you’re thinking… Swap it for… “Squeeze my vagina!” “Gently lift up and in like pulling a marble into the vagina.” “Hold my breath and clamp down!” “Exhale and float the muscles upward, inhale to soften them back.” “Tighten my butt cheeks.” “Keep the glutes relaxed; the work is inside the pelvis.” “Do it fast, fast, fast.” “Slow, controlled lifts; smooth, complete releases.”
When NOT to Do Kegels
Yes, really—sometimes Kegels aren’t the answer. Some women have pelvic floor muscles that are too tight rather than too weak. For these women, traditional Kegels can actually make symptoms worse.
Signs you might have an overly tight pelvic floor:
Pain during intercourse
Difficulty with tampon insertion
Chronic pelvic pain
Constipation or difficulty with bowel movements
If any of these sound familiar, consider seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist before diving into a Kegel routine.
The Expect Solution: Pelvic Floor Rescue (Audio-Guided, OB/GYN-Approved)
Expect’s Pelvic Floor Rescue gives you:
Expert audio cueing so you get out of your head and into your body—no confusing diagrams or awkward devices.
Progressive plans designed by a board-certified pelvic health physical therapist and approved by a urogynecologist to treat incontinence.
Real-life drills (think blowing out birthday candles, laughing) so your muscles work when you need them.
Try Pelvic Floor Rescue inside the Expect app—your first week is free.
Three Everyday Habits to Reinforce the Fix
Exhale on effort. Lifting the stroller? Standing from the couch? Blow out as you move and lightly lift the pelvic floor.
Cough test. When you feel a cough coming, exhale and do a quick “zip up” before the blast. Over time this becomes automatic.
Bathroom check-in. Never push or strain to pee or poop. Relax your belly and let the pelvic floor drop fully.
Your Next Step
Download Expect and start Pelvic Floor Rescue today.
Forward this article to a friend who says, “I do Kegels all the time” (she probably needs this).
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This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for medical advice. If you have pain, prolapse symptoms, or unresolved urinary/bowel issues, consult a qualified clinician.